my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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