I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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