did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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