just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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