it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
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