I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
