don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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