My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
