Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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