Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
