she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
