she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
