we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
