Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
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So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
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Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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