She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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