He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
