my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
