Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'm jealous of your bromance
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
