so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
