i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
