we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
