our cab driver is having phone sex.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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