i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
