I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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