Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
try to milk me bitch
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
