That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
