aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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