I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
