Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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