mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
