we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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