just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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