Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
