Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
