at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
