there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
