cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize