I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
