I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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