On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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