we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
