so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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