What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
