i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
