Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
