Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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