i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
