I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize