I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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