I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize