i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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