I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
This girl is more easily done than said...
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
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