I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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