Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize