Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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