smell my finger.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
