my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
