Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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