Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
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Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
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Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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