I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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